“I thought the epidural would be scarier; but honestly, that thing is awesome. I was even able to get a nap in after that. Then the pushing started and felt like it never ended. I pushed for pretty much 4 hours. I was so exhausted and desperate and the doctor explained that at that point, I was too tired and my pushing wasn’t enough. He asked if we would be ok with him using the vacuum to get her the last little bit out. That’s kind of a weird feeling, when the doctor asks you something like that. I’m not the expert! I’m terrified and tired, I have no idea. The doctor was really good about explaining the whole thing and not pressuring us one way or another. But he was definitely right, I was exhausted. So finally, we were finally able to see an end. We agreed and then the real pushing and pain began. I said “Fuck” a lot. Actually, more like screamed it. Even after she was finally out, I was still saying it. It didn’t even register when the doctor asked me what her name was. I just said “Fuck”. He told me “oh, that’s a nice name”. My husband laughed.  I gave them both the dirtiest look I could muster. Then I snapped out of it and just can’t even describe what I felt. My husband was crying, I might have been crying. The baby was crying for sure. And I just felt. I felt so much. Everything. It’s like you have no idea what is going on, but it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters at that moment. Nothing except your new family.”    -Jenny